Khaled came to Canada in 1991, leaving his family and home behind in Lebanon. Now, he’s praying for a ceasefire so that he can return to his birthplace in time to say goodbye to his sister, who is terminally ill and has been given one month to live.
He asked to be identified by only his first name because members of his community have been targeted online and slandered in professional circles for expressing pro-Palestinian and Lebanese views.
Apart from a few cousins, Khaled doesn’t have much family in Ottawa; he’s one of 11 children, with six sisters and four brothers “still living back home.” With their spouses and children, he estimates he has more than 100 family members in Lebanon.
His sister Shahida is 65 and has just been informed that she likely has less than one month to live before her chronic lung illness kills her. She is not a Canadian citizen, nor does she have a visa, and she’s too weak to travel, so she is staying in her hometown, a village called Al Rawda, with her family. The village is near the border with Israel and is so small that it is not on most maps.
“The doctor said it could be months, it could be weeks, it could be days. She would never leave her husband or her kids or her grandchildren, and she wouldn’t be able to handle the trip,” said Khaled. “And if she came here and died here, her wish is to go back and be buried in her hometown with her family.”
Instead, Khaled said he’s been trying to get to Lebanon in time to see her, but he’s unable to get a flight into the country. Another option is “go by sea” from Greece or Cyprus, or travel to Jordan and then through Syria.
“It’s not simple. It’s not stable in those places, and it’s not safe,” said Khaled.
For now, Khaled said he’s hoping for a ceasefire so that he will be able to get into the country to say goodbye.
He has been trying to coordinate with his family, but with homes and villages damaged or evacuated, it’s difficult to keep them all safe. Many family members are supporting Shahida and “trying to provide palliative care at home,” and with so many nieces, nephews and children, it is difficult to relocate.
He said sometimes his family tries to stay together in one place, but in those cases, “if it gets bombed, you run the risk of losing everybody.”
His sister is living with only one working lung, he explained, and the unstable healthcare system means that some days she is without medication or treatment, and the family has to find her medication elsewhere and send it to her.
“We believe it’s caused by what’s in the air. We’ve been bombed, and some of the missiles and bad attacks happened right on their side of the swimming pool,” he explained. “It’s obvious that that’s what it is. It’s gotten worse because of what she was exposed to, with the white phosphorus, and it got more severe because of it.”
Khaled knows the signs: in 2006, a white phosphorus munition set fire to his uncle’s garden and olive tree farm.
“He tried to put the fire out and inhaled the stuff, and it killed him hours after he inhaled it.”
When Khaled left Lebanon over 30 years ago, it was in pursuit of a safe and stable future for the family he hoped to one day have.
“I gave up on corrupt governments, corrupt politicians, corrupt society, and figured out that if I want to have a family, I want my kids to have a better future. I chose Canada,” he said. “It was a hard journey, but I was lucky to be able to come to Canada and make that home.”
Now, Khaled is married with three sons. His eldest is pursuing his master’s degree from Carleton University and his middle son just got married. He sends his sons to Lebanon a few times a year to visit their family, but they won’t go this year.
“I don’t get emotional about my family. I’ve lived through civil wars. I know what this is,” he said. “But when I talk about Canada as a country, I do get emotional. I have tears in my eyes. This country has given me everything.”
During his time in Ottawa, Khaled has been a business owner and worked in a politics, including as a member of an advisory board for the federal government. He’s seen “both sides of the coin”, he says, and the current politicians are “part of the problem.”
“You know what, the Canadian government doesn’t have any obligation towards my family. But it has an obligation to stand for what’s right, and to stand on the right side of history,” he said. “We need strong politicians who will speak their mind about this. If the government wants to represent Canada as a society and people, that’s what they should do.”
For his family members who are not Canadian citizens or do not have visas, Khaled says he understands why it would be difficult to bring them here. But if the government stepped in for “what’s right and what’s wrong” to aid in negotiations and ceasefire talks, he would have a chance to get home in time to see his sister one last time.
“I wish more of my family had come. I came to this country and never used any money from the government. I grew a business, I created jobs,” Khaled explained. “I did all the things immigrants are supposed to do.
“I’ve given up on the politicians, but not on the country. I’m emotional when I talk about this country and what it has to offer the world. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else on this Earth,” he said. “Now you would hope the (federal government) wouldn’t shy away from action just to be politically correct.
“There’s right and there’s wrong. They have to speak up on that. Right now, they’re complicit.”
